


Superhero Support Support Group

by orphan_account



Category: Daredevil (TV), Jessica Jones (TV)
Genre: Foggy Claire and Malcolm discussing their various superheroes, Gen, She's a babe, This is trash, also I made a waitress, and just generally bitching about them, because why not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 19:31:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5468324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Whenever there's a thursday morning with no explosions or other disasters, Foggy, Claire and Malcolm will meet in the back booth of Janet's and compare notes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Superhero Support Support Group

For the first time in over a month it was quiet in Hell’s Kitchen on a thursday morning. There were no explosions, no hostage situations, no stubborn superheroes bleeding all over Claire’s floor. If she didn’t know exactly how much work had gone into this she would have thought it was a miracle, as it was she was just happy that she could finally unwind and vent to somebody who understood. The changing room at work was all very well and good for the rest of the staff, but as far as she knew none of them were patching up masked lunatics on the side. Not that Jessica ever wore a mask, and how she hadn’t ended up on every newspaper in New York punching through a wall by now was beyond Claire’s understanding.

She reached the cafe first and headed for the half lit booth in the back corner. It wasn’t the prettiest, torn leather and a stain that was honestly pretty worrying. She slid into the comfiest spot in the corner and settled in to watch the door. The waitress ignored her for now, she knew that the group in the back table wouldn’t order until everyone was there.

Foggy came in next, hair tucked into a beanie to keep it out of the way. He looked tired but that could just be the fact he was wearing baggy jeans and an oversized shirt when she was used to seeing him in suits, even at the thursday get togethers. She waved him over and he all but collapsed into the booth next to her, leaving Malcolm to take the weird stain or the seat that made farting noises no matter how still you were.

“You look very relaxed.” Claire said, “Are you finally actually using your time off as time off?” 

“Nah but nobody needs to wear a suit for paperwork in their own apartment.” He said, tugging the beanie off and putting it on the table. Before Claire could comment on the curls he had going on the bell at the door rung and Malcolm stumbled in. He came straight to their booth and flopped into the seat, not even flinching at the almighty farting noise it made. 

“You would not  believe  what Jessica did this morning.” He said, cutting straight to the matter at hand. 

“What did she do?” Claire asked, leaning forward, “and am I going to need to fix her up?” 

“You should be fine,” Malcolm told her before turning to Foggy, “You on the other hand-”

“If she’s being sued again I want no part of it.” Foggy interrupted, “Once was more than enough.”

“I said I wouldn’t do that to you, have a little faith man.” Malcolm said, offended. “But do you remember how you were good at taps? Just how good were you talking?” Foggy paled and shook his head.

“Not good enough to fix whatever she’s done this time.” he said. There was a pause before he quietly asked, “What has she done?”

“My tap was dripping so she tightened it to the point that even she can’t fix it. I’m gonna have to replace the tap.” 

“A broken tap? I thought it would be much worse. I can do that.” Foggy said, nodding and looking much happier with life. 

“You thought we had another shower situation huh?” Malcolm asked. Claire thought back, she couldn’t remember a shower situation. Clearly her confusion showed on her face because they both responded at once.

“Don’t ask.”

“She put Luke through the shower wall.”

“Will they ever learn?” She asked the ceiling, adding shower to the mental list of things that Jessica and Luke had broken in their pursuit of sex. Right at the top of the list was her own name, closely followed by Malcolm’s.

“At least your lot didn’t throw themselves off a sixth story fire escape into a dumpster.” Foggy said. Caire took a moment to process that. Matt was blind and no amount of freaky hearing powers would save him if he decided to throw himself and missed. 

“Tell me he didn’t.” She said, half hoping that was some sick joke foggy was pulling. 

“He did.” Foggy confirmed, “Now shush Janet is coming over.”

None of them made any pretense that the waitress, a singularly unshakeable woman called Janet, didn’t know exactly what they were talking about, they had been using her cafe for months to discuss their superheroes. They had an unspoken agreement though, Janet would keep the booth clear on a thursday morning and they would keep Janet clear of their more dangerous friends.

“The usual?” Janet asked, already putting the mugs in front of them. It was probably a sign that they were all too firmly entrenched in their coffee habits but hopefully Janet wouldn’t judge so long as they carried on tipping as well as they did. 

“Thanks Janet.” Claire said, smiling up at her. “Don’t know what we’d do without you.” 

“You’d order your coffee like normal people.” Janet told her, the slightest trace of a smile on her face. 

“We would never survive.” Foggy said before lifting his mug in a toast. “To Janet. The best damn waitress in Hell’s Kitchen.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Malcolm agreed, raising his own mug and turning to glare Claire down. She sighed and rolled her eyes before raising her own mug.

“The best waitress in all New York.” she said as Janet turned to walk back to the counter. “Right then. Matt. How bad is it?” She asked, turning on Foggy as soon as Janet was out of hearing range.

“Mostly okay, had three showers and still says he can smell dead rat.” Foggy said. 

“Thank God.” Malcolm said, “I can only imagine if Claire had to stitch up Luke and Matt in the same week. Claire shuddered at the memory, Luke was by far her least favourite of the three to patch up because at least with Matt and Jessica they were just stubborn. Luke on the other hand-

“What the hell did Luke do to need stitches?” Foggy asked, looking vaguely horrified.

“Mr Indestructible decided that he would rather throw himself on a bottle bomb than rebuild a second time.” Malcolm told him, running a hand through his hair and closing his eyes with frustration. 

“At least you didn’t have to find a way to sew him up!” Claire hissed, “Indestructible skin is all well and good until it’s broken and then you’re just screwed and the poor nurse who has to fix you is even more screwed than you are!” Foggy put an arm around her shoulder in exaggerated sympathy.

“You poor dear, you need a drink.” He said, pulling her into a bear hug before freezing as a thought struck. “Do you reckon we can convince Janet to sell us booze?”

**Author's Note:**

> This is not meant to be taken seriously, it's out of character and a bit of a mess. I literally only finished Jessica Jones today.


End file.
